01.31.06

It was a dark and stormy night…

Posted in Glögg Is Life. at 3:03 pm by Gregory

Entre nous, a couple of nights ago, on the evening of the poly-Asian celebration commencing the Year of the Red Fire Dog, at an overpriced natural foods market frequented by scowling women and a few of their scowling, non-celebrative (and non-Red, and non-Fire) dogs, I purchased some 100% Recycled Bathroom Tissue. In lieu of anything else to read on the walk back (the local “weaklies” offer little competition — in this regard), I opted to examine the paper product’s plastic packaging, and became entranced by the following verse:

“Dear Friends,

Thank you for using our products. Let us know what you think, and tell your friends about us.”

Mind, sometimes even a cinéma critic and romanticist of my own astonishingly vast range and experience can face a challange. What to say? Since these weblog contraptions tend to be filled with reeeally, reeeally important information, I don’t wish to be glib or to put a foot wrong in presenting this proposed review! Thus, after much thought, in appraising what they call in the Latin tradition papel higienico (Tip for Tourists: Always steer clear of the papel no-higienico), I have decided to unspool two succinct raves, which I sincerely hope that Earth Friendly Products of Winnetka, Illinois, ‘Mer’ka will opt to include on their future packaging. These are the raves:

“WAY better than what they’ve got in the U.K.!”

and

“A triumph of subtle flourishes on par with Gwyneth Paltrow or Philip Seymour Hoffman!”

See? Say something nice and everybody wins.

Things can only go up from here.

(Incidentally, never ever work for shitty people; let them starve; let their businesses collapse into ruin.)

Speaking of rung-scaling, though, a hearty congratulations to Josh Olson today, for his Adapted Screenplay nomination from that “Academy” doohickey. I’m genuinely happy for him, as I am for William Hurt (who does his same thing again, only adds “mean” and “funny”). Now perhaps I’ll write about the movie, the review of which strangely fell the way of Wedding Crashers in its half-finishedness.

Over the next week, another from New Line (Final Destination 3) may catalyse this process, along with studio fare such as Firewall and The Pink Panther. Comments are withheld until viewing (unless you’re my friend; Josh, are you my friend?).

Most important today is appreciation for a wonderful woman without whom I would not exist. Today is my mother’s birthday:

WITAM, MATKA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Freedom of Speech is awesome. Let’s keep it…

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