01.20.10
Closure Post
Nope, not yet. Been slammed from all sides. This thing will end, though. Couple more days. Then I have better things to do. Thank you for your clicks.
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HI. FINAL NOTE ON THIS WHILST I FINISH IT: I REALLY HAVEN’T BEEN PLEASED (GENERALLY) WITH THE WAY THINGS HAVE GONE THE PAST FEW YEARS — AND PART OF THIS IS L.A. (WHERE SELF-OBSESSION IS ALMOST EVERYONE’S TOP PRIORITY — IT AIN’T PRETTY!), PART OF THIS IS MY BAD LUCK IN TERMS OF FAMILY AND SOME FORMER “FRIENDS,” AND PART OF IT IS PERCEPTION. THAT’S WHY I’M DOING A FINAL POST: I’M DROPPING WHAT I DON’T LIKE. BUT DON’T WORRY — IT AIN’T ALL BAD. SOON AS I CAN. HAVE A NICE DAY UNLESS YOU SUCK. ~G
Hm…well, you’re still checking back, aren’t you? Here’s the thing: I have written about half of the closing post — but it’s much more “negative” than most people (particularly Americans) could hope to handle, and although I don’t intend to introduce any significant edits, it will require its second half to feel balanced and complete . . . and I have too many projects breathing down my neck to deliver it all just yet. A couple of notes on “negativity,” though: I was in a restaurant recently, and a somewhat dim waitress who’s in love with her dog told me that the rain makes her happy; in turn, I replied that part of that is due to negative ions in the atmosphere; she firmly clarified to me that no, what she felt was happiness. Moron. Also, what may read to you as “negativity” is in fact, to me, only about catharsis — opening up and expressing, rather than bottling up and toxifying. If I feel, see, hear or otherwise experience something, then I have the right to write about that — just as you have the right to write about your feelings or whatever. That’s all it is. I’m sorry if you don’t get it. If you need a refresher on the concept, I suggest seeking out Peter Gabriel’s only LAME album (”Us” — figures it’s from the goddammed lame ’90s), and listening to the track “Digging in the Dirt.” That’s all it’s about. There really is no more to it. Females in particular seem to have a big problem with my sporadic “negativity” — but guess what, honeybuns? I don’t like your stupid ‘tude, either — and it’s been years since I’ve encountered anything remotely resembling a “lady.” This is my online journal, much of it concerning years of unhappiness punctuated by Fun Events!, and I’m concluding it because I don’t want life to feel like this anymore. It sucks here. I’ll present the final installment as soon as it’s ready. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. ~G
Hey, you were hitting it pretty hard here on Sunday, folks. Full week-end for me = haven’t completed the last post. If you’re even finding this, it means you’ve been a regular reader, so thank you for that. But here’s the irony: I was never doing this for attention; I was doing it because…well…at this point it gets metaphysical, but either “I painted myself into a corner” (if you’re into that view on things; I endorse that for stupid people…but I’m not one of them) or “life began to suck quite viciously no matter how you try to spin it” (which is much more the case, I assure you; unlike many, I do not thrive on trouble and unrest). In any case, I tapped through many lonely nights here because life really wasn’t giving me anything else worth doing (or, it was leading me on into pointlessness; fug dat) — and it still isn’t giving me a whole lot with which to work (or, one hopes, play) — and I totally blame the Boomers for that, because they are greedy shits and are destroying the world (boycott them! watch them dwindle!). But aside from that, although I can’t change the world, I do very much have the power to stop reflecting on it — or, at least, to reflect on it much more selectively from now on. Which is why I’m closing this thing — there were many ecstatic moments throughout these years…but no genuine happiness (I’m stealing back that word); thus I’m tired of writing about how much everything sucks — even though everything pretty much has sucked (and provably). But this isn’t the closing message. This is simply the: “Hey, whole lotta bangin’ on Sunday — people must be intrigued! I’ll attempt to placate them…” message. I’ll be back with the Closure Post soon — as the wretched can be heard to bellow from the slave pits of Hollywood, “ASAP!!!!!!!!!!” — but be forewarned: It’ll probably be mostly text, and if there are photos they’ll only be added later. I love images, but this was never intended to be a picture site. But it will return to being a movie site. And this “blog” will die. Which is cool. Check back whenever.
Hi. The last post will appear here either Friday or over le week-end.
Since I’m so brilliant that I can actually DO things and also REASON WHY I’m doing them, here’s the reason why:
This life has not been satisfying. I am disappointed. No point in continuing any reflection thereupon; thus, rather than ending the life, I’ll just end the online journal thereof — and say fuck-all, and do whatever I please from now on.
Anyway, come back later for the Grand Finale.
